Saturday, August 29, 2009

Facebook Status Updates

Recently, Matt, Sierra and I went a few days without technology (ok, Matt HAD to use his computer at work, but did not do any surfing or anything like it).

I am such a big status updater, I thought it would be funny to tally what my status updates may have been during this time.

* Daniel is doing such a great job wearing his patch.

* starting an interesting, in-depth study of Romans today. (Thursday)

* our hearts grieve over recent layoffs at our church -- praying.

* had fun without computer distractions...made cards to put in the decorated tin for my sister's birthday...now well over 2 weeks late.

* loving the drop off for Sierra's new school...less than ten minutes round trip.

* another task complete w/out computer and tv distraction....craft room cleaned up.

* helped Daniel pick out toys to sell in our Saturday garage sale...his money to go towards a cool new toy. (addendum...Daniel got to buy himself the black spider man suit).

* loving the constant sound of my ipod on shuffle...though one of David Crowder's songs has played and replayed about 5 times.

* finishing a book that is not too interesting, but I have to finish to see if I am right. (I was)

* having sweet times praying for those in community, nation, church family and friends.

* shopping for houses in North Carolina. No, we are not moving...yet....though it is not outside the realm of possibility.

* is so proud of my budding missionary who loves church both on Sundays and Wednesdays and wants to go spread Jesus around.

* watching my husband nod off as I write this.

* is proud of my daughter who wants to extend our little fast past these few days. (no, it did not last)

* finding it funny that Daniel has to watch movies on our little portable dvd player to avoid distraction for us.

* looking forward to getting my and Sierra's hair cut on Saturday followed by lunch at Cheesecake Factory.

* finally mailing my sister's birthday present on Friday...AND finally mailing my 12-inch long braid to Locks of Love...AND mailing Sierra's best friend who lives in Africa the DS games she left in our car. (YES, I did it...I mailed all the above).

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sierra....she blows my mind.

Tonight, our church concluded a period of fasting by holding a worship and prayer service. The service was amazing...I felt the holy spirit stronger than I have in a very, very long time.

They had childcare for the little kids, but bigger kids were to be with their parents. I noticed a strong lack of bigger kids in the service, but my daughter was present and accounted for.

When we shared with Sierra the fact that the Pastor of our church was calling us to fast, Sierra said she wanted to participate, too. We, of course, told her she could and explained what it meant (for us, we did not fast from food....I just can't go without food and I wouldn't want her to, either). We told her she needed to spend her free time with God...praying for others....worshiping Him...etc. She said, no problem.

We had many discussions over these last few days and I found her thought process to be very mature for someone her age.

Tonight, at the church service, she just blew my mind. My daughter, 10 years old, went to the altar to pray (how many times have I felt drawn to the altar and stayed back with fear of being seen)...My daughter, 10 years old, went to the mic they had set up for people to share prayers or scriptures or what have you and she shared a prayer of thanks for God to give us this church where we can worship and pray freely (a task that is not easy in a room filled with a couple hundred adults....and how many times have I felt the urge to share in a room a fraction this size but held back because I had a fear I would say something stupid)....and when there was one particular prayer request during the time of intercession where Pastor Jeff called all leaders and all intercessors to come forward to surround, lay hands, and pray my daughter, 10 years old, went forward to join with the masses, her hands held out and she joined them in prayer (how many times did I feel like I should do that and held back with fear).

I was left praying to God....how did I with so many faults manage to have a daughter with such a spirit of prayer and getting right with God.

She blows my mind!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

2 posts in 1

There is so much going on in the life of us Kozlowskis that it is simply too much to go into. So, I will just post on 2 things that are on my mind right now and maybe at another time, I will post something else.

So, let me start with my darling son, Daniel!
As many know, Daniel was born with a congenital cataract in his left eye. This caused much pain in this mother's heart who wanted perfect babies...as any mother would. God dealt with me through this...in the grand scheme of things, a cataract is not that big.

Added to the cataract, his vision in that eye was very poor. There is a technical term for it, but I am not even going to attempt it. Basically, he has a lazy eye. This kind of sounds weird for me though as his eye does not look lazy...there has been no crossing in his 4 1/2 years.

Earlier this year, it became clear that his cataract had to be removed...it was growing as his eye grew and was placed near the center of his pupil. This involved removing his natural lens with the cataract and having a new, artificial lens put in. This is tricky for kids...especially as young as Daniel. The doctor has to guesstimate where his vision should be in the new lens...they make it pretty far sighted. This means that his near sight is bad and his glasses need to now be bi-focals. In the doctor visits since his surgery, his vision in that eye has worsened. We have to step up patching...which entails putting a patch over his "good" eye and making his "bad" eye work more.

We have been trying to patch since he was 1 year old...but it has been such a physical, emotional and mental battle. Daniel hates it. I am not sure I can blame him...imagine walking around for HOURS during the day with a large band-aid placed over one of your eyes. NOT FUN! I had to weigh the options of getting his eye stronger and dealing with an increasing anger Daniel was having towards us. So, for most of his infant and toddler years, we opted NOT to patch.

Now, I know we can reason with him. He still hates it, but there are so many options. We found these special patches you can order online called PatchPals. They fit over the glasses lens of the "good" eye. This takes away the discomfort of a big band-aid....not to mention it was right around $15 with shipping which, in the end, is much cheaper than buying boxes of patches.

Daniel still does not like wearing it, but it is not the battle it once was. He has been wearing his patch for close to 4 hours a day. He asks me constantly throughout the wearing time when he can finally take it off...but I will take the constant questions over the TERRIBLE fits of crying! I am a bit concerned cause he says he can't see when the patch is in and he has not adjusted to the bi-focal yet. His next appointment is October 30 and I am anxiously counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until we can talk to his doc.

On to the second post:

Today, we made a stop at the library. I am TERRIBLE with libraries...I end up with HIGH overdue fees and even seem to have lost a library book. I just cannot be trusted to check out books.

The library has a wonderful service called "Friends of the Library" where they take donated books and then turn around and sell them to us for SUPER CHEAP prices.

So, today Daniel and I went to the library for the sole purpose of skimming through their books for sale....and came home with a treasure trove.



Reading is very important to me. I was always called a book worm throughout my childhood and I understand the need for kids to read and try and give them a love of books.

Part of that is reading to my kids...yes, even my 10-year old. With Daniel, I will read to him before nap and again before bed. He gets really upset with me if I happen to be too busy or the night is too late. He treasures this time...and, let's face it, it does not get any better than laying in his bed with him...his head resting on my shoulder...as I read to him. It is the best feeling in the world and Daniel has got the love for books....in fact, I need to get on top of teaching him to read...he exhibits all the signs of one who is ready to learn.

With Sierra, it is also a SWEET, SWEET time. We pick a chapter book and I read a chapter or two. It is the same scenario as the above. I get in bed with her...she often puts her head on my shoulder. She gets very upset with me if it is too late or just can't. We have started reading the Limeny Snickett "Series of Unfortunate Events" together with the beginning of this school year. There is no better bonding time than sitting on your kid's bed as you read to them.

So, what fun it was to go to the library and get all those books in the above picture for just over $7. I found 2 of the Limeny Snickett books for $1 each!! In HARDBACK!! Granted, they are books 4 and 5 and we need 2 and 3, but.... Daniel got 4 books. I found Sierra a series of books that look really cool for 50 cents each...and a couple magazine for me (10 cents each). What a treasure!!

I need to go there more often!!!

Wow...is this too long. Well, since I do not blog often, I guess I am due!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

ruminations

It is my dream to be an author. I would love to write a plot twisting mystery...or a spiritually in-depth character study like Rivers writes. But, I tend to not have the endurance to finish anything. Why is it that every night when the lights are out and my head hits the pillow, words and thoughts will flow through my mind like the words at the beginning of any of the Star Wars movies. I will toss and turn and make my monologue or story ideas or what have you weaving into something that I can tell would be good....and then the pills I take each night kick in and I pass out.

When I wake up in the morning, are those thoughts and streaming lines of sentences I spent so much time thinking through the night before end up going through some sort of mental paper shredding while I slept....or seem to pass into the cosmos to be forever lost among the vastness of space.

I decided tonight that I would be inspired to get something started NOW...while my son is in bed....while my daughter entertains herself on her laptop....while I sit on my bed in this darkened room.....and....I.....got............NOTHING!!

I guarantee that as soon as I shut this (my ever present extension to my arms and hands)computer down and place my head on my pillow....those thoughts and visions will come roaring in. I need a voice recorder so I can try and at least utter these thoughts into existence for review the next day to see if I actually do make sense.

So, as my eyes grow heavy as I lay on my bed and in the not so great for your back position...I will say goodnight. One day, you will be at a bookstore and you will see "written by Sandra Kozlowski" Until that time.....I will try my best to stave off the nodding to sleep and you guys .....yep....I am gone....good night!