What about the dads?

Yesterday, a friend posted an article on facebook about what NOT to say to Stay-At-Home moms. It got a giggle out of a lot of my friends while at the same time being OH SO TRUE. As a SAHM, I can say that all too often I get that remark that cuts to the core of what I do. I will hear: "well, since you have all this free time, could you....." or "it must be nice to have a husband that makes so much money" or any number of other statements. I often smile and let these comments roll of my back, but they do hurt sometimes.

That last statement, the husband one, made the list in the article (well, both of them did) and that got me thinking. What about the dads whose wives stay at home? We, as SAHM, go on and on about how hard our jobs are (and they are...very much), but how hard is it on most of our husbands to be married to a SAHM??

It is a common misconception that if a woman stays home to take care of house and children that the husband must be making a whole heck of a lot of money. I do not, though, know many SAHMs where this is true. Almost all of my friends who are at home face the same monthly, weekly, and daily money stresses that I do. We are not rolling in the dough, getting manicures weekly, going shopping and having tea at fancy restaurants.

So, speaking in my own situation, where does this leave my husband. Well, he is under tremendous pressure to provide for his family. He is the sole provider. His job holds our insurance plans. His paycheck puts food on our table, keeps our electricity working, and keeps clothes on our backs. He must pay all the bills including the daunting house payment. If he makes the slightest misjudgement in his financial plan, the whole house could fall a part. If he makes the wrong person mad at work, we could be on the street. That is a lot of pressure to put on one person. A man finds satisfaction and pride in providing for his family and if he fails, it is a LARGE blow to him.

What about the pressures for peers on why he has to provide everything. He has heard from other people, why isn't your wife working. As a husband and dad, he gets the same grief I do.

Why do we get grief? We have both talked about this subject often and we both agree that our priority is the raising of our children. I offered to go to work when Daniel entered school, but Matt adamantly objected stating that he wanted me to be there for the kids. What about part time? NO!!! (and, of course, I started to homeschool Sierra which shut that door)

I see how the pressures of being married to a SAHM affects at least one husband/father. I want to give a shout out to all those dads out there that share the sacrifices in providing that one income....whether it be small, medium, or large. It is not the rewards in the here and now that we are sowing...it is the future and heavenly rewards we are sowing.

And, for the record, my husband works VERY hard to keep me as a SAHM and is far from "rich". His salary provides us with what we need and little more. We sacrifice a lot to live as we do. It is often hard....there are tears....there are clenched stomachs as we try to figure out how we are going to do it.........and there is LOVE, JOY and PEACE as we see the sense of security and love on each of our kids faces. Ask our kids if they would rather have the benefit of 2 salaries over having their mom at home with them and they will ALWAYS say NO.

So, don't be condescending to the SAHM or the husband of a SAHM. And give those dads a fist bump or a shoulder pat of encouragement. They work hard or harder to provide that place of security and love for their children....they are the SAHM's biggest fan and best support.