Monday, May 30, 2011

My Kids

My kids reach(ed) 2 big goals in the matter of days...hmmmm....maybe it is 3 big goals. 2 of these goals make me SO sad....and also make me so proud. The third just makes me proud...but then, does it make me a bit sad. You must remember, I am a woman. Conflicting emotions are just what we are!!

The first of these goals was already met...it was met yesterday by my daughter. She went and turned 12. Oh how emotional this gets, though not as emotional as it will be a year from now when she turns 13!! But, that's just it....she turns 13 in one year. This is her last year in her preteen years and once she becomes a teenager, it will be no time at all before she is an ADULT!! I could SWEAR I was just at the hospital just months ago having her. Now, she is almost as tall as me....growing more and more beautiful daily.....and dang it, she is 12!!! On the flip side of this coin, she is also an incredible 12 year old. Oh, she has her issues, she is a girl and thus has a wide range of emotions she is learning to control. But, she is such a sweet, tender girl who loves life and her family and is sensitive to God's voice. It is hard not to be filled with pride alongside the sorrow at how fast she has grown up.

Which leads me to goal number 2...and this one is a doozy. On Thursday, my son will COMPLETE KINDERGARTEN. Oh, my son. I love him SO much and I admittedly baby him. Try as I do, though, he is growing up faster than I can keep up with. He finishes Kindergarten (his school does not do Kindergarten graduation....a VERY sore point with me) on Thursday, but already seems ready to conquer the world. He is so incredibly smart, that when tested, he is already ready for 2nd grade!!! This has it's good points....he can read and figure things out for himself. BUT, he is MY BABY!!! I want him to need me more. I want him to rely on me more. Lucky for me, that while he is incredibly smart, he is also incredibly lovable and loves to curl up in my arms and snuggle with his mommy. He still tells me that he loves me as big as space. He also tells me how he can't wait for 1st grade....SUCKER. AND, we had a family picture taken for soccer and I was ASTOUNDED at how TALL he was next to all of us....his baby fat is practically gone.......I WANT MY BABY BACK!!!!!!!! But, he is a very good kid and he makes me proud daily!!

Which leads me to number 3. Sierra will have completed her first year of homeschooling on Thursday (or Friday). It was a successful venture with no regrets from us or her. She is succeeding beyond my wildest dreams with homeschooling and is mature enough to know that she needed to get out of the environment she was in. There is a bittersweet moment, though, as she will be done with elementary and intermediate education and will move on to....gulp....Jr. High. Now, I do not need to worry about the influences of school with Jr. High, since she will be home. BUT, it is still a milestone that she has moved on to one of her big stepping stone to independence. My daughter is a Jr. Higher!! WHAT!!!!!!!!

I have amazing kids. They are so sweet and wonderful and smart. I am proud of them everyday. Time does fly WAY too fast. I wish it would just slow down a bit. I love the feel of Daniel's smooth, soft cheeks when we kiss or snuggle together. I love the easy feeling of camaraderie between Sierra and I when those teenage hormones have not kicked in yet and boys aren't quite knocking on her door (though they do knock on her facebook door). Time could slow down a bit more, though. I would like to enjoy those moments in time when my kids are kids. But time will not slow down and I must roll with the punches. I must cheer my son on when he very proudly leaves his school on Thursday, officially done with Kindergarten. I must hug my daughter close and tell her how proud I am of her and all she has done in her 12 years of life. I must hold my head high, though my inner self would like to cling still to the pig tails my daughter wore and the wrap around glasses Daniel wore.

So with that, I bid adieu! Don't feel sorry for me....I am sure tomorrow I will wake up in a different state of mind....I am woman, after all.

0 comments: