Courageous

I just got finished watching the movie "Courageous". I was a bit less than excited to see the movie, honestly. Sadly, Christian movies are made on limited, independent budgets so the production value is often less than stellar. Admitedly, the movies have been steadily getting better and better. "Courageous" definitely raised the bar for Christian movies...it was quite wonderful. It still had some issues in production value, but the meat, story, writing for the movie was significantly better and made it much easier to get over the minor flaws.

There were a couple things that really struck me about the movie. I know without any doubt how important the role of father is in a child's life. No question. I was struck by the man who had grown up without a father and his resolve to do better in his own life, largely due to his having had a mentor. I was especially touched by his visit to his father's grave. He stood at his father's grave and read a letter of forgiveness he had written to his father...forgiving him of abandoning him.

You see, I have the opposite issue. I was abandoned by my mother. Oh, she could try to justify her absense in my life by hiding behind a court ruling in my father's favor for custody, but that is no excuse for a father or a mother. For my whole life, I felt a hole or a trench where there was no mother. So many friends can call on their mothers in time of need or in times of just wanting to chat, or,at the very least, are able to conjur up memories of their mothers. I do not have any of that. My mother visited me once in my whole life. When I became an adult, I tried to find her to gain some semblance of a relationship with her. I did find her and was elated that I might finally have contact, but when I tried to call her again, she had her phone disconnected.

It is quite something to be abandoned by your own mother and, as a mother, I just cannot fathom it. How could one do that to their own child?? But, I have forgiven my mother. She made many bad choices in her life and her life was not easy. In many ways, I feel God was likely protecting me. She is dead (I found out a year or so after she had died) and so it is out of my hands as far as having a relationship with her...but I do know that the hole (or trench) that I carried for so long has long ago been filled. As the men in Courageous declared, it was time to break the bonds of the past and that is what I have been doing. I am a good mother and my kids have no doubt that I love them and would never abandon them.

The other thing that struck me about the movie was that for the most part, each of these dads were what would be considered even in the best circles as good dads. They were as good or better than the "average" dad, but they decided it wasn't good enough. Sadly, it did take a tragedy to bring this to light, but isn't that how God works sometimes?? It was interesting to see these good dads decide good wasn't good enough. I think this should be a mantra for all parents, moms and dads alike. Good is not good enough. We owe our kids better than good.

I resolve to fully give forgiveness to my mother, though she is not here to receive it. I also resolve to be better than good as a mom. My kids would say I was the best mommy ever...but where is the bar set in their eyes and is there a higher place to set it?? I think so.