"You Again"

So, my husband called me this morning, around 10:30. He said "Get Sierra, get in the car right now, and go to the movies to see "You Again". He knew I had cabin fever since I stayed close to home this week, Sierra's first week of homeschooling. I took advantage of the time to keep the house clean and making yummy food for us to enjoy, but today is a beautiful day here in The Woodlands, TX and he knew I wanted to be free.

I thought...why not. So, I shouted to Sierra to be ready in 2 minutes (not hard since I make her get dressed and get ready as if she were in school everyday) cause we were going to the movies. We pulled off to a convenient store for goodies (cause I am NOT paying for movie goodies) and off we went.

This movie is an odd movie...it's PG. Do you know how many PG comedies there are out there?? The precentage MUST be in the LOW single digits. Not only was it PG, but it was a GOOD PG. Sadly, the best comedies are the ones filled with vulgarity and promiscuity...and thus we don't get to see them. This one was a bit on the cheesy side (what comedy isn't?), but it was VERY enjoyable. I laughed a LOT and was uncomfortable in all the right parts (those scenes where the actor is making a fool of him/herself). The reviews for the movie weren't the best...but, as a friend had told me, it was definitely worth watching (and supporting....there are not enough of these clean movies out there).

The interesting thing about this movie was the relatability of the main character to my own HS years. You see, it is about a girl, Marnie, whose HS years were spent in a constant state of awkward, from her braces, to her glasses, to her acne filled face. She was clumsy, somewhat nerdy, and singled out as an outcast by all. Her brother, who was beloved by everyone, gave her the pep talk that allowed her to make it through HS and go on to not only become successful in life (career) but also in her looks (long stringy hair gone, beautiful blonde now...braces replaced by straight, white teeth.....glasses replaced by contacts....and acne replaced with creamy skin.......awkward to beautiful and confident). She finds out that her brother is marrying her arch nemesis from HS, the girl who tortured her for 4 long years and she finds herself obsessing over acknowledgement and redemption for her wronged past.

I was that girl. My torture began in 6th grade. I was always quiet and kept to myself...and then my father and step-mother decided to paint a bullseye on me! It began with rollers. You know the kind...sponge rollers...pink. My stepmother would put about 100 on my head each night. In the morning, she would pick the curls out to a FRO and than would slick my hair down to my ears and pin it....so I would have a ring of tight curls going around my head!! SICK, right??? It gets worse. As if that wasn't bad enough, they didn't want the curls to loosen.................so I had to wear a HAIR NET!!! Oh, they tried to ease the blow to my self esteem by getting me ones with BEADS in it. Yep...as if my FIERY RED HAIR wasn't bad enough (at the time...I LOVE it now), now I had frizzy curly hair with a hair net!!

To make matters worse?? My step-mother decided to make me dresses. Now, I thought they were pretty, but I soon discovered they were not (I remember one girl telling me that her mom would not buy the class picture because of my red picnic tablecloth dress....it was a red and white plaid, not checkered, and had a red bib and red pockets...it was my favorite dress until that moment).

So, there I was.....a small, skinny, pale red haired girl with frizzy, curly hair in a hair net, bad clothes, and I was shy....oh, and I always had my nose in a book. Yep...a combination for instant ridicule and so the fun of school begun.

I endured this ridicule, often to a HIGH level of pain and/or humiliation, for 7 years of school.

I have often thought how awesome it would be if even one of my tormentors apologized. Just one. I have played it out in my mind. Oh how great it would be. To only be told "I am so sorry". That has not happened, of course. I doubt it will. My husband has said he would like to beat up all my former schoolmates for the damage done to my self esteem.

But this isn't boo hoo on Sandra time. A lot has happened in the 18 years since graduation (18 years? wow!). I had to stay in the town I lived in (a small town, much like the one in the movie, except MUCH dingier) for a year after graduation due to a surgery I had scheduled (jaw), but the first chance I got, I left. It was a liberating feeling, striking out on my own. As I drove myself from that small town to college (Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, TX), I remember laughing and smiling...determing that the shy, geeky self was gone. By the time I pulled up to my dorm, I had taken off the old and put on the new. I became outgoing and friendly. I quickly gained a gaggle of friends and over the next few years, began to try to patch up the holes in my life....at the time with band-aids and duct tape (I was not as quick a study as Marnie in the movie).

Than I met my husband. He didn't know he was a construction worker, but he is. He brought with him morter to fill in the holes, trying to remove the band-aids that I had haphazardly placed there, though residue stuck around. With him, sitting on his shoulder waiting for me to invite him to finish off the repairs, was Jesus. He washed the residue clean, reinforced the mortar that Matt had used, and than covered it all in His love and mercy.

I am human. I would still love to be able to hear those words..."I'm sorry, Sandra"...but I don't need them. I do not depend on them. I do not expect them. I did take some satisfaction of Marnie sitting on a floor with her arch-nemesis, Joanna, as Joanna looked her in the eye and apologized for all she had done. Ok...let's be honest....I took satisfaction out of Marnie exposing Joanna for her past, though I did feel in my gut that her past should be her past and her present self should speak for itself.

So..."You Again" is a funny movie. I was glad to see it...and even glad to experience it...but even more glad to be OVER it (by it, I mean my past). My past made me who I am today. I have scars. Sometimes, I have the voices of the past trying to still beat me down. BUT, I have Christ who banishes those thoughts and tells me I am more than that. I have a husband who sees me as a beautiful woman and not an awkward, skinny red head with bad hair and braces...who loves me unconditionally. I have a GREAT life. Who knows who or what I would be without these experiences. God directs my footsteps. It was no accident that I went through that time in my life.