It's been awhile

It has been a long time since I posted anything. A lot has been going on here at casa Kozlowski and it has consumed so much of my time and energy. If I am not doing, my mind is going. I could SO use the Nothing Box that Mark Gungor describes in his marriage seminars that a man has. This box (found in the warehouse of boxes contained in a man's brain) is a box that allows men to sit and do (and think about) nothing. He says this is why they are so good at watching TV and going fishing. These activities require no brain power. My mind never shuts off. My husband will ask a question about the show on TV and my response is always...oh, I wasn't paying attention. He will laugh and ask why I am watching it. Background noise, I suppose.

Some things going on with us:

Each year, Matt gets a pretty nice bonus. We, typically, use this bonus for a vacation. We have gone to Disney World twice with the money. We have also taken a LONG road trip. This year, we decided to forego the vacation and, instead, get new living room furniture and get our living room carpets torn out and laminate flooring put in...as well as some other odds and ends. We shopped around and found our living room furniture which is NOT good looking at ALL, but EXTREMELY comfortable...and after living for the last couple years on the most uncomfortable couches, we were looking more for comfort than style.

It's funny how you can go into a show room and couches can look pretty normal in size...get them in your living room and your room gets swallowed up. Old couch set included a couch, love seat, and chair. New couch set is a couch, love seat and chair. Seems like an easy fit. However, when all the new set pieces recline, you have to factor in keeping said couch set away from the wall to afford room for reclining. AND, when all pieces recline, you have to make room for the reclining in front...making sure that the other pieces do not impede said reclining.

We had our last piece delivered last night and I have no idea how it is going to fit.

And then comes the floors. Our carpet has been worn down over the years...we have had a number of dogs in our house in the short 6 years we have been here. Let's see, we have 2 now (a small terrier mix and a large husky). Before them, we have had 2 other dogs plus a couple dogs who have come for a visit or two. Each of these dogs have left their mark on our carpet in the forms of pee, poop,hair, mud, and/or puke. Animals are fun. We also have 2 cats. They have not peed on our floor, but they have puked and have definitely contibuted to the hair (not to mention using the carpet to scratch on. Then there are the kids. We have had an uncountable number of kids come through here. Besides our two, we have had many sleepovers, slumber parties, and family events. This has meant lots of kids jumping and running around, spilled drinks, lots of sleeping bags, etc. With my own kids, there has been a number of drinks spilled, puke, and no telling what else.

I am scared to see what the carpet will look like when pulled. Yesterday, I had such an urge to vacuum, but I thought...it's getting ripped out and disposed of...do I REALLY need that?? AND, I noticed puke stains, and many other stains and threw my arms up and thought...be gone with you!!! Did I mention that my lovely Husky chewed 2 holes in the carpet?

Among other things, after plunking down so much money on furniture and signing contracts for floor installation, our car recently decided to have everything in the world happen to it. Ok, it is not that bad. I know there are probably thousands of people who would love to have our car....we are just not one of them. I will not go on my typical rant about Kia (though we have had nothing but problems with this car). It is physically painful to put so much money into a car that you are counting down the days until you can trade it in (sell it, burn it). In the past week or two, we have put hundreds of dollars into it. When I think of what I could do with that money that would be useful and FUN instead of useful and PAINFUL, I get sick to my stomach. And, the timing of this. Well, I guess it is a good time for it to happen. We have the money. Well, I decided I would not speak ill of our car. We are so very close to getting rid of it and going with a more dependable car. i will just say this....you get what you pay for.

As always, homeschooling is a constant topic here. For Sierra, it is going better than ever. She is happier, more well rounded, and finally social. It was a tough couple months, but it is all working out now. I am fairly certain on the curriculum for next year (so much pressure there, making sure you are providing the best for your kid). My mind is constantly consumed now with Daniel. He is doing very well in school. He is SO incredibly SMART. Matt's take is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. What he means by that is that if he is thriving in his school surrounding, than why take him out. I can see that. I have looked into curriculum if I decided to homeschool. A big disadvantage is that most homeschool curriculum for 1st grade is WAY behind where he is at. I think if I started him at 1st grade curriculum, he would likely be done with it by Christmas (starting in September). That is an advantage to homeschooling. In January, he would just move on to 2nd Grade. BUT, it is a disadvantage to the checking account. Curriculum is expensive. Some have said, just start him with 2nd grade, but as a friend of mine who is in the same boat as me pointed out...there may be some phonics and math rules that would be missed if we did skip it.

Of course, everyone has an opinion on the matter. "Consider how he may get bored at school...but at home, you can taylor make his schooling for him." "Put him in GT or other advance courses." "GT and advanced courses are not so great...my kid's experience in them was...." So, all the advice from both sides are constantly bouncing around my brain like a ping pong ball gone wild. *sigh* We'll figure it out, I am sure.

There is also the recent issues with Sierra. She has lots of orthodontist appointments (though her next one is in May...bottom braces being put on). She also has dermatologist visits (at her young age, she has managed to get acne and has inherited a rosacea issue from her father...lol). She also has been having issues with her digestion that has her not feeling well most of the time. We are trying to narrow that down. I have a feeling we are going to have to see a GI specialist. *sigh*

So, between sewing lessons, piano lessons, doctor's appointments (my poor Sierra)church, house changes, house duties, life in general, upcoming soccer, upcoming visits from family, and everything else, I am very busy. I like to be busy. I actually thrive in it......but I am looking forward to a weekend with the family. No sleepovers. Home cooked meals. Maybe a movie (Diary of a Wimpy Kid comes out today). Church. Big comfy couches on new wood floors. Reading.

Well, it is almost 7 am and the day needs to get started. I have been up for over an hour. Another long day ahead. That is ok, though. At least I am healthy. At least I have a working car (now). At least I have my family (and they are WONDERFUL). At least I have my Lord.

Am I Alone

Matt always makes fun of me because I am a lot like what Mark Gungor describes as the woman's brain. My wires are constantly going and never seem to shut off. I can practically see it....the wires intertangled in my brain...exposing wire to wire and cross connecting.

My brain is so bad, that when I am in church, I find it hard to concentrate on what I NEED to be concentrating on!! The Pastor will ask us to bow our heads to pray and I have no idea what we are praying about because I am thinking about what I am going to do next week, what the kids have planned for the next day, what clothes I will wear, who I might run into, what can we have for dinner.....all at the SAME time. I even spend a lot of time telling myself to concentrate....but end up mentally chiding myself for NOT paying attention so much that I am still NOT paying attention.

Last night at church, worship was pretty good...parts were better than others. There were a couple songs that I truly LOVE and my automatic worship response was to close my eyes and lift my hands. I sang the words and had the deep desire to pour out myself to the Lord...let the words of the song flow over me....but I found my mind wandering...I wonder if so and so is here, I wonder what Daniel is doing, I wonder what Sierra is doing, is Matt worshipping.

The pastor called us to intercession...asking us to pray for our needs or the needs of others for 10-15 minutes....I was able to pray "Lord, please be with my family, help Matt with his headache and job, help his parents sell their house........." and the buzz affect settled in. I had to open my eyes to concentrate on the room and what was going on around me...in short bursts praying for that woman who seems so broken or that man who was with the elder for personal prayer. But even then, they could warrant only a 10 second prayer.

Is it a lack of faith? Is it ADD? Or is it just plain and simply being a woman? Are my wires so jumbled that I just simply can't ruminate on one thing at a time??

My facebook status last night stated that I had the attention span of a 1 year old...sometimes I wonder if that is being too generous!