Public "Thank You God"

Yesterday in our Wednesday night Prayer Service at our church, Woodsedge Community Church, Pastor Jeff Wells called us to come forward and make public declarations of thankfulness to God for something in our lives. It was a powerful time as person after person stood in front of the mic declaring thankfulness for restored marriages, restored relationships between parent and child, healing, promises of healing, etc. It was incredibly moving and I felt, strongly, that I should go forward and declare my thankfulness for a life that has been blessed...but if you know me, you know I'm a chicken!! I sat still and just let myself fill up on these public declarations. It was truly inspiring.

But, it has bugged me all day long that I did not go forward and declare a "Thank you, God" in front of my whole congregation to hear. This is not the same, but I wanted to do one here and now. If you know me, you know my voice is often heard loudest here, in written form.

So, I want to thank God for the opportunity he has given me to be a wife and mom. I was a wandering soul, without purpose or a clear path of what I was supposed to do. Marriage felt like a right step, but not quite right. Having a baby was incredible and filled a bit more of the puzzle in...but there was a piece missing. Than I turned my heart over to Jesus and all the puzzle pieces just fit. Through Him, I have had a great healing in my heart and have found my purpose. 12 years later (it has almost been 12 years to the day), I am still living out this purpose. I am still married to my wonderful, supportive husband and am now a mother of two. Without God, none of this would be. Oh, I might still be married and have my 2 children, but I would be broken and, likely, not living my life like I was meant to.

There is no doubt in my mind that my place is here, as helpmate to my husband and as mother to my children. God has further expanded my purpose by adding teacher to my resume and I am more blessed because of it. I have never felt more joy than I do now, in my present state. There is nothing so thrilling as homeschooling my kids and watching their joy and accomplishments from my front row seat. My children have never been happier than they are now, as homeschoolers. God has blessed us with so many new friends and contacts that make this journey so much better than life has ever been before.

It would be great to say that 12 years later that it has been as smooth as a nice drive in the country on a newly paved road, but it hasn't. We have had sharp turns and some deep, deep holes that have busted our tires on this drive of ours. At times, I question what I am doing...what we are doing. Why is it so hard? But, I am learning to praise Him through the rocky times and the easy times. We had a deep hole in the road these last couple days that I thought would knock our tires off and our wheels out of alignment, but He came through and the road, while still not smooth, is certainly a lot easier to drive through.

Through all the smooth patches and the rough patches, I do Thank God for bringing me to the place I am. I would not trade ANY of it for ANY amount of money or luxury. He has chosen me and I will gladly receive all He chooses to give me.

Pavlov's Dogs

If you have spent anytime in school, you have likely heard of the scientist called Pavlov and his experiment with dogs. He rings a bell...gives his dogs a treat. He repeats this over and over until all he has to do is ring a bell, and the dogs would automatically drool. What is to be learned from this, who knows? I am, though, using these techniques with my kids...though not so much on the drooling. I am training my kids with sounds from my iPhone and it works BEAUTIFULLY!

If you happen to possess an iPhone, or, I presume, any smart phone, than you likely have a feature to set alarms. You can set multiple alarms and assign each alarm with any number of sounds. I have gotten to where I have set several alarms on my phone daily and each one has a specific sound and the kids know what the sound means. It's great!!!

For instance, bed time. Bed time would be a chore (not a hard chore, but a chore none the less). Maybe we would get into a movie or something and next thing you know it's after 9:00 which is a bit too late for my son on a school night. Or, maybe we would get started on bedtime routines too early and be left with time to spare. Now, I have an alarm set for 8:15 on my phone. The sound for this alarm is crickets. When Daniel hears this sound, he knows he has 15 minutes to get ready for bed...and be in bed by 8:30. I have one set for Sierra for 9:15. Daniel will often complain, but he knows there is no argument. The time is the same each night.

I also find myself forgetting to have Daniel wear his patch everyday. I am VERY forgetful about a great many things, but Daniel's eyes are very important to me. I have a "boing" sound that goes off every afternoon at 1:00. Daniel hears the sound and instantly begins to groan (he hates the patch), but at least he knows it's coming.

For Sierra, I have an alarm set for her to wear her headgear during the day...it's a duck quacking. lol I am not sure why I chose that sound, but I know when the duck quacks, it's time to put on the gear (she wears it at night, but often it does not make it through the night and she needs to supplement her night wear with day wear).

Daniel likes to take breaks during the day and so I will often set a timer for him (he loves it....he gets crouched down and we do the "on your mark, get set, GO") for him. When he hears the trill, he knows break time is over.

Sierra has started setting alarms on her iPhone that alert her to things like, putting in her braces bands or break times or start working on a report, etc. She could be in another room, but when she hears a particular sound she registers it as time for this specific thing.

It's great!! I love that my kids can hear a sound and know what it means and their response to it. They might not like it (bedtime alarms), but the do not dispute it. They may not drool when they hear the tone, but they do respond.

Homeschooling

I had it set in my phone when Daniel's progress report from his school would be sent home and it's right about now. That got me thinking...how would I evaluate these last several weeks of school in the Kozlowski home??

Well, Sierra had a rocky start to the school year and beat herself up pretty bad at first. Unlike regular school where the teachers spend a fair amount of time testing and seeing if all the kids are caught up after a summer, her curriculum just jumped right into the lessons...no review. She was faced with learning a program (her curriculum is ALL computer based) AND learning her material. As predicted (by me), within days/a week or so, she had mastered it all and is now pulling in straight A's. It is hard to manage her schedule. She is taking Language Arts, Bible, History, Texas History, Science, Math, and French. She has already had to write 3 essays and has a couple more due in a couple weeks. She also has had several major tests (her lowest grade on a major test was a mid A). Pretty soon, she will have science projects to do like charting star systems, using a microscope to look at her own cheek cells and several others. Learning another language is proving to be more difficult than she imagined, but she is kind of teaching Daniel as she is teaching herself. So far, I would give Sierra an A+++ in her first year in Jr. High.

Daniel, of course, started off his school year in public school. I am glad we got him out when we did. I had a lot of anxiety with his going to school...and not just because I love him so much and want him with me (though that was a factor). I don't know why I had anxiety...his school was a good school. I was not fond of his teacher, though I am sure she was adequate. I was not concerned with him socially...he's a good kid. None-the-less, homeschooling finally happened and I am at peace. We had a rocky start as we ordered his curriculum and it took FOR-EVER for it to come in. Now, he's a smart kid and I knew a week or so without school wouldn't cause damage, but Daniel was more than ready for some challenging work. His work load (now with full curriculum) is challenging, but in a good way. His subjects are: History, Geography, Science, Poetry, Phonics, Math, Reading, and Handwriting. I try to do Science and History only a couple days of the week. His favorite subjects are Math, Poetry, and Geography. His absolute LEAST favorite is handwriting. He HATES it. He LOVES writing...one of his favorite assignments is writing stories and he often writes stories on his own. But teaching him the PROPER way to write the letter n is torture for him. lol I thought of skipping 1st grade phonics and going right into 2nd grade, but the phonics program I bought is REALLY good and I am glad I kept it. He has not been too challenged yet, but will soon. His math program is GREAT (Singapore math)...though just when I think I have a lesson that will challenge him, he busts out with all the answers on his own. I would definitely give him an A+++.

Sierra comes in often while I am teaching Daniel and says that she wishes I had started homeschooling her earlier. Daniel is learning SO MUCH more than she did in 1st and doing so many projects that are fun (lapbooks...an INCREDIBLE resource). With each day I spend with Daniel doing the fun things we do, I feel more and more regret at not having pulled her out sooner!! Even Matt, who had reservations about homeschooling Daniel, has seen the rewards.

So, our progress reports are in tip top shape. My kids are accomplishing more at home than in school. I am at peace.

Do I have anything more to say?

I am beginning to wonder if I have anything else to talk about besides homeschooling? It has, seemingly, consumed most of my communication with other people and with myself (yes, I communicate with myself...and if you are a woman reading this, you likely do the same whether you admit it or not). Just yesterday Matt said to me, what are you thinking about? He could tell by the look on my face that my mind was consumed. I took a deep breath and let it all out...everything that had passed through my mind in that 20-30 second window of time. Matt shook his head and said "I am so glad NOT to be a woman". 99% of the long list of things that had passed through my mind were homeschooling related.

I think I am consumed. Shouldn't I be, though? If I were a teacher in a classroom with 30 kids, I would teach them all day long...bring their work home for me to grade...prepare for the next day to come...etc. As a teacher to my kids, shouldn't I be constantly thinking about how to teach them. I am more invested in my own kids than I would be in a classroom of kids. So maybe I don't have more to say because there is simply nothing more important right now than that.

Oh, but there are other things going on in life outside of homeschooling...really there are. For instance, Star Wars came out on blu-ray yesterday. My husband is one of the masses that saw Star Wars when he was but a small boy and he quickly became obsessed with the franchise. This is a big event in our house, one that equaled Matt staying home from work and the kids not having to do school. Of course, I did sit in my recliner and plan out the next week of school work for my son. I read and re-read his science work (he is beginning the free *incredible* curriculum that was developed to go alongside the upcoming movie "A Dolphin Tale"). I researched lap-books and began planning how and for what subjects he would be using these great learning tools. I obsessed over when the mail would arrive as I have not received the rest of his curriculum I ordered a week ago. Um, I am back on the homeschooling topic.

Well......Matt took 2 other days off this week and we took advantage of him being home and took the kids to a skatepark to have fun. Matt rode my bike around and the kids had a blast!! There was a man there with his son and the man was uber friendly. His son and daughter are also homeschooled...have been for years. His son was a couple years older than Daniel and could skateboard really well. He is enthusiastic with his skateboarding and not at all what you would picture as a homeschooler. His family often go to Africa on mission trips and they go to our church (small world). Yep, homeschooling pops it's *pretty* head.

Ok, so church last week was great. Our pastor, Jeff Wells, is doing an incredible series on Romans 8 dealing heavily in the holy spirit...don't be scared. lol It has been VERY insiteful and I just love his passion. I was especially excited for this last Sunday as many of the small groups at our church had tables set-up for members to come by and get information on. My own group On Thee Edge had a pretty table set-up and I perused around the tables with great excitement and anticipation. Our church has a BOOK CLUB....who KNEW!! But, I also found out that there was a ...........here we go again ........ HOMESCHOOL GROUP. Yes, there it goes again. Homeschooling pops up. I, rather obsessively, went from table to table...looking for this group. How cool to connect with other Homeschoolers that are a part of my own church. I went from table to table several times only to discover....the group didn't show up. It was a great disappointment to me.

It seems little happens, at least now, that does not somehow reverse back to homeschooling. It is what it is, I suppose. I do not think it is a bad thing. It is a family focused topic...it is a Christ centered topic. On the other hand, if I can have maybe an hour where I do not think or talk about homeschooling, I just might do my very first cartwheel. I am going to see Lion King 3D today...hmmm, a unit on African wildlife for Daniel...the circle of life....how much would Daniel LOVE that........... uh oh ........ *sigh* ....... here we go again.

Homeschooling Daniel

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Daniel started expressing an interest in being homeschooled. He is a very social boy who loves school and was excited about going to school. He told me that he would let me homeschool him around 4th grade. After the first week of school, he became pretty adamant, though, that he wanted to be homeschooled.

There were a couple factors that came in to play with him being homeschooled...and some of these were typical 6-year old boy things. He didn't want to have to wake up at 6:30 and rush out the door at 7:10. Who does? He wanted to be done with school earlier. He wanted to be able to go on morning bike rides with Mommy. And, he was frustrated about the pace at school. As a 6 year old, his needs were far different from Sierra's needs when she wanted out, but I already had the desire to homeschool him so any reason was good for me.

Matt had his reservations. Daniel was bored with school, but it was only a couple weeks in...it would get more challenging. He was concerned with cost (Sierra's curriculum cost us over $500 and that did not include Math which we will buy towards the end of the year and will cost over $100). He was concerned that Daniel will regret being pulled out. I did not want to badger Matt into submission, but I began pointing out things like going at a more Daniel pace with his schooling (faster)...and being able to do more hands on things....and I perused curriculum and found I could get his curriculum for under $150....and the gas used to take him to and from school...etc. Last week, after much prayer, he relented.

Since Daniel has been home, he hasn't done a LOT of organized learning. I have gotten a LOT of advice from fellow homeschoolers and I am taking a lot of it in. I ordered his curriculum and am waiting for it to come in. A friend so KINDLY offered me some geography curriculum for FREE where Daniel will learn all about each state of the United States one by one. Daniel is SUPER excited about this. We got a large map today and he LOVES it. I was also able to download free 1st grade Spelling curriculum which Daniel is ZOOMING through already (I doubt he really needs these first several sections). A friend suggested poetry...he copies the poem and works on memorizing it. I wasn't sure how this would go, but he memorized the first poem within minutes on Thursday of last week and can recite it on command. Great idea....and FREE. I am waiting for his Phonics and Reading (Horizons), History (Our Christian Heritage), Math (Singapore Math), Handwriting (A Reason for Handwriting). I got a Science book at our local Homeschool store...used with projects in it for $3!! One of his favorite things to do is to write. He is currently writing a chapter book 100% on his own...he has written many stories. I am incorporating topical ideas for him to write stories on.

We are part of 2 Homeschool groups...each of which have park days on different days and times. He has participated in one park day and will participate in another this week. Also, due to Matt being home today, we were able to take both kids to a skate park this morning to ride their bikes and Daniel also rode his scooter. While there, he collected leaves for a science project AND I also got some green chile seeds that we will be planting...he can keep on his desk and observe it's growth for science!! He even has his elective down....he takes bi-weekly piano lessons that he LOVES!!

He is quite smart and I think he will breeze through many 1st grade subjects (possibly by Christmas)....I anticipate Phonics and Reading, Spelling and Math will be done by then...the rest we will likely stretch throughout the year. We are having a BLAST even though we just got started. The possibilities are ENDLESS!

We've Done the Research...Now It's Decision Time

As you know, or maybe you don't know, we have been shopping around for a new way to save money and one of the most obvious ways is to get rid of cable, but we have found ourselves in quite the pickle as we try to figure out what is the best way to do this and I will tell you why....but I will break it down by categories: Netflix (dvd and instant streaming), Hulu (and Hulu+), Amazon Prime, Digital Antenna with Tivo.

Netflix (dvd and instant streaming): Despite the recent hoop-la over the hike in prices, the benefits of Netflix abound. You can pick the plan according to your wants/needs/budget. We have 2-3 accounts (depends on how our budget is going). It is easier for us to keep track this way: I have an account where we have our instant streaming and I receive unlimited 2 discs a month. This works well for me because I like watching TV on dvd, so I, on my free time, will watch different series of shows like Little House on the Prairie or White Collar. Sierra has an account where she does not get instant streaming, but she does get 1 disc at a time with unlimited discs. This works well for her because she has things she likes to watch and the cost is minimal. Matt also has an account that is the same as Sierra's except he can get blu-rays. With his account, he can watch those obscure movies that I/we have no interest in AND/OR he will get any family movies we want to get. With instant streaming, there is a growing library of movies and tv shows that benefit the whole family...Matt has been watching Bond movies as well as old Star Trek shows, Daniel has Spongebob, Sierra...well, now that you mention it she doesn't watch anything personally, though she DOES benefit the most on our favorite family show, The Cosby Show, and I watch several tv shows with Netflix and several movies. The benefit to Netflix Streaming is all you need is a device that has Netflix Streaming like a Wii, blu-ray player, Playstation, tv, etc. The negative to instant streaming is most of the shows are older shows. We, as a family, have certain tv shows we look forward to each season like Amazing Race and Survivor plus other shows like Fringe, NCIS, Criminal Minds, etc. With Netflix ONLY we would be forced to wait for dvd sets to come out, which none come out for Amazing Race or Survivor (never mind that we would likely hear WHO won via the internet). So, for our purposes, Netflix does not work on it's own. We need something that can keep us up to date on our favorite shows. So, then there is--

Hulu (and Hulu+): Ah, Hulu. It is a great program, in theory. They play many of the more recent episodes of many of your favorite shows (sounds like their byline, huh). There are certain restrictions, though. First of all, there is Hulu and Hulu+. Hulu is FREE, but can only be viewed on your computer (gather around kids, we are going to watch our show on mommy's laptop). Now, for a small monthly fee you can get Hulu+ that is broadcast over the tv, but you have to have a device to hook up to the tv to view...a blu-ray player or a tv with hulu+. The monthly fee is low (something like $7/month) and they have a fair variety of shows. So, easy choice, yes?? Well, not so. Reviews on blu-ray players that have interfaces with Netflix or Hulu+ are less than stellar. I read many, many reviews that said the same thing, you are better off with a Roku device than the blu-ray player. Ok...so, let's do that. A Roku box is about $70 and has the best reviews. BUT, hold on....what shows ARE on Hulu+?? Not as many as you would think!! First of all, CBS will not stream ANY of their recent shows. They feel that they are the number one network so WHY would they give a consumer a break? So, that cuts off a lot of what WE like to watch...most of our shows ARE CBS. Also, amazingly so, many shows signed contracts with Hulu, not Hulu +. So, there are a number of shows that are ONLY available through Hulu and NOT Hulu+. So why not just Hulu?? Well, Hulu is for the COMPUTER only. There are a number of shows that you can only watch on the computer. Well, we are back to the original issue....Hey kids, let's gather around Mommy's computer to watch Castle (only show I could think of). That's not cool. So then we hear about a little thing called:

Amazon Prime: Amazon Prime. I am a big fan of Amazon. They rock...they have everything available. I do a lot of my consumer fact checking via reviews on Amazon. I LOVE AMAZON. With Amazon Prime, you pay a one time, $79/year. You can pay this and be good for a year of Amazon Video on Demand shows and movies at your fingertips plus free 2-day shipping on any item, no matter how big or small. Sounds GREAT, right. Yeah, I thought so too. But then you realize not ALL Amazon Instant Video shows are FREE....just some select titles. You can imagine what is free. Comparing these titles to the Netflix titles is just sad. So, how much could an episode cost? Well, most of what I saw was $1.99 per episode. A typical TV series has 24 episodes in a season. If you don't have cable and you would pay about $25 a season per show you were watching. If we were doing Cosby and Castle, and any number of shows, you are getting into MAJOR dough AND you still run into the CBS problem. WHY!!! Then there is:

A Digital Antenna paired with Tivo: It was one of those "a-ha" moments last night. I started thinking aloud....what about getting a digital antenna?? Well, then we run into the problem of having to be tied down to when shows aired versus watching at our own pace. With a digital antenna, you can pull in a variety of channels, but how does one record them?? Then I thought, what about Tivo?? So, here is the deal on Tivo. You can get a Tivo for about $85 on amazon. It is a "smart" dvr that can be hooked to a digital antenna. With Tivo, you can also stream Netflix, Amazon Instant Video, Hulu+ and whatever, so you have a dvr and the other things. There is a fee, of course, for using the Tivo service...$20/month. When you are paying close to $100 in cable, that $20/month is still a savings...a significant one. But where do you get the shows without cable?? Why, a digital antenna, of course!! Who would've thunk?? Such a concept as this. Gone are the rabbit ears. Gone are the sketchy receptions (I think). To get a good quality antenna, you need dole out some money, but than you have your local channels and a number of other channels broadcast over the air...no monthly fees....and it interfaces with Tivo.

There is, of course, the other thoughts: Continue paying the exorbitant cable fees with the current plan. Sign up with a new service from a new provider with lower cable fees (to start), but know that in a year, you'll be about where you started. And, of course, get rid of it ALL...rely solely on dvds/blu-rays and spend more time on family time. The first is just not an option...neither is the second. The third was a front runner last night...we thought, why not just get rid of it all. We can beef up our dvd collections and spend more time outside or having game nights or what have you.

But, let's get real. TV is not ALL it's cracked up to be, but there are certain things that bring us joy as a family. We like watching Amazing Race...it is a great show to watch together. The best option, for now, seems to be the digital antenna and Tivo route. It is not eliminating costs, but it is still bringing those costs way down. We still dvr, but we dvr only local stations and we do not pay a service fee for DVR AND Cable AND Local Stations. You eliminate 2 of those factors. The output cost at first is kind of high with getting the Tivo and the digital antenna, but in the end, you will save tons. And IF Hulu+ or Amazon Instant Video updates with more of our favorite shows, with the Tivo we can explore that.

Are we 100% sure this is the way we want to go?? NO!! But, I think we have gathered SO much information that we can go no further. It is time to pick it apart and make our decision. Hopefully, you can benefit from our research too!!

Addendum!! We have done it. We have made our changes and are fairly certain that we made the best choices. The fact is, there are several shows that we really enjoy throughout the fall and spring season. So, we called out cable company, AT&T Uverse, and talked to them. We ended up going down to Basic Cable (which gives us local channels and WGN) and we are saving $50/month. With this, our internet price will not go up (internet without a tv package would have raised our cost $10 more). We still have dvr. We do, however, lose the ability to watch our favorite USA and TNT shows (mainly Psych and The Closer), but next month we will buy a Roku box and decide then whether to use Amazon Prime for these shows or Hulu.

So, there you have it. Our decision is final, our channel line up is smaller....life is simpler...we are happier. We are not saving the $90 we originally were looking to save, but $50 is nothing to sneeze about.

A bike, a boy, and his mom

As a mother, I like to make my kids happy. I will do just about anything to make them happy...anything within reason. I love the look of joy on their faces. It makes my heart pitter and, yes, patter.

So, when this past Saturday, I decided to break in my new bike, little did I know what joy it would bring my son to invite him along for a ride around the block. Sierra was asleep (she had a late night sleepover) and Matt was doing yard work. Daniel was messing around outside and all I said was "hey, Daniel, would you like to go around the block with me on our bikes?"

Oh my!! The look of joy on his face brought tears to my eyes. He excitedly said YES and got on his bike. We went around the street and every time I looked back at my boy on his Spiderman bike, his face was gleaming with happiness. Oh my...something seemingly so small was huge.

The rest of the day, he kept talking about that little trip around the block. He said that he thought that every weekend he and mommy should go on bike rides together. I told him when it was cooler (at least not in the triple digits we currently have) that I would gladly go with him after school, too.

It's those small things. Much like our weekly game nights that both my kids just love so much, time spent together doing something meaningful can be better than any monetary thing.

Tomorrow, I will start daily bike rides with Sierra to get in some "PE" time. Sierra is just as excited for this dedicated mommy time....just her and I on our bikes!! Who knew??